breezy morning

Hi,

Feeling good this morning. Relatively warm and breezy.

finished breakfast now. (8:06) had coffee jelly and ES.

Amount of ES: almost one can (4/5, threw away a bit .)

Recently (after i started drinking it as i am told.) I found finishing a whole can of ES(250ml) kinda tough.

The weird flavor seems to become stronger as you go and that makes me feel sick and dizzy( and actually want to throw up, sorry.) Also, after finishingit, i feel so full and my stomach swallows. its a weird feeling too.

Now thinking how to adjust the amount of the next 2 ESs.

oh, and today’s weight: 33.5 (pajama, didnt change?)

By the way, this is the song i am obsessed with. So relaxing …

12:05

finished lunch. (ES and coffee jelly)

Amount of ES: almost everything. (4/5 threw away a bit again, HAVE TO THREW THE WHOLE OF THE THIRD CAN!)

feeling dizzy and sick and full…tired…but energized.

have been feeling dizzy after every meal, not good feeling. its like i am day dreaming.

going to the hospital later today (12:30) with my dad and mom.

My weight has been dropping like rollar coaster so doctor may say i need to be hospitalized.

i dont want to seclude inside the hospital all day long….hope it doesnt happen.

17:30

Got backfrom the hospital. Weight:34.0kg(with white long dress)

had some explaination about hospitalization. It seems i will be under very strict survarance and have few privacy in the hospital. The doctor said if my weight drops again i really have to consider the hospitalization. and as of tomorrow, my daily norma of ES increases by 4 cans! i already feel guilty for the amount of ESs i have to threw away…

Anyway, mom started crying during the check-up and asked doctor if i can go out in the daily life (like shopping for groccery or going to the library or work) and he said no. So, either way i will have to put up with very limited way of life this week. I wonder if i can go to the second exam of the work… i think mom will not let me go… :-(

 

18:05

Amount of ES: 3/4 (practically finished dinner i think..)

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