warm and dry morning


Its so warm and brilliant day, sunny and bright, feeling kinda good.

got up before 6 am this morning. As last night was kind of disaster, (i drank more than a half can of ES and regretted that and went mad. mom and dad so worried about me and kept turn to stay by my side. i dont even remember when i fell asleep.) i apologized them for that andalso thanked them for taking care of me.( I liked the feeling my dad touched my head and soothed me.)

had breakfast at 8:00.Todays weight: 33.4kg (with t shirt and leggings). Amount of ES: maybe a half a can (cause i was scared of my norma beginning as of today!) and i also had jelly made of sport water. Since i was out of coffee jelly i made it this morning without suger. should be able to eat by lunch.

I kept looking for the nice theme for this blog. I may change it again but i really feel i need much time to make up my mind on something. Every theme seems tempting but i decided to keep it simple. (FYI: my best 3 were Coraline, Pilcrow, Pink Touch2)

also i went to take a photos of flowers outside my house. I love dogwoods but it ended their season last month so the kind of flowers we can enjoy now is few at this time of the season. Anyway, here are some flowers we have now…

 Rose of Sharon (Hibiscus syriacus)

Petunia (2 kinds)


I didnt have any interest in flowers before but latey some lovely flowers cathes my eyes and nose. Especially the smell of Gardenia is so nice i guess. I hope i can find much more pretty ones down the road.


finished lunch with coffee jelly and ES while reading todays newspaper(about a half can i guess). now feeling dizzy with full stomach and drushingmy teeth. it rained a bit 30 mins ago, but stopped now. mom keeps her temper so sensible and it made me feel i am under her survarance and choked with her eyes. Anyways, i threw half the ES and still feeling full. Apparently i am going to throw a half of the third can again. the sound of TV is too big and it irretates me. (mom has difficulty of hearing and her voice is big too, it often happens, doesnt it?)

I am wondering whether to drink the forth can or not. mom will cry again if i dont. i dont really want to think of it though. (i mean about what i put into my mouth). I dont want to put weight, just want to to keep the present occasion. I am scared of ES’s effect gradually appears on my body. (sigh…)


had my third meal(ES-less than half and coffee jelly). i am not going to have my forth ES no matter how my mom and dad tall me to. (i officially exclaimed here!) i will have my fifth meal at around 6pm with tohu somen and finish my meal. i have to try hard to keep my word! now looking forward to my dads coming home.


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